Ten ways to be polite in business

English speaking people value politeness over directness, and appearing rude when you write or speak is as much a mistake as getting the language wrong. In fact, people are more likely to forgive inaccuracies than rudeness. Here are ten tips for staying polite in business.

1. Avoid making demands or giving instructions

Phrases like "I want…" sound rude. Instead try "I would like…" or "I would be grateful for…":

"I would like some information on your range of printers."
"I would be grateful for some information on your range of printers."

2. Remember to use "please and "thank you"

Use "please" when you ask someone to do something for you:
Can you open the window please?
Could I have some assistance please?

Use "thank you" after you have received help. You can also start a letter with "Thank you": "Thank you for your confirmation of February 10."

3. Show you care about the other person

Even if you cannot help a person, try to avoid sounding unfriendly or direct.

"We cannot help you" becomes "We are sorry that we cannot help you further".

"We have no information for you" becomes "Unfortunately, we have no information regarding…"

"Your order will be late" becomes "Unfortunately, your order might be late".

4. Use modal verbs

These verbs change the mood of a sentence and allow you to sound polite and diplomatic. They also make you sound less definite, and more open to other people's ideas.

You can use modal verbs to make suggestions, such as "Perhaps you could consider"; to make requests, such as "Would you let us know the costs?" and to sound tentative, such as "It might be difficult to fill your order in a week."

In particular, the past modals (would, could and might) are useful in situations when you want to sound less definite. For this reason, they are useful in negotiations when you want to invite the other person to give you a better offer. For example, saying "Your price is too high for us" sounds definite and could close the discussion. If you say "Your price would be too high for us", you are inviting the other person to make a counter-offer.

Both the ebook and the writing course give detailed information about using modal verbs.

5. Use past forms

Use past tenses to put distance between you and the other person and to make you sound less definite.

"We were hoping for…" (rather than "We are hoping for…")

"We wanted to know…" (rather than "We want to know…")

6. Use qualifiers

Qualifiers such as "rather", "a little", "somewhat" or "a slight" make problems sound less serious.

"We have a problem with the account" becomes "We have a slight problem with the account."

"There's an issue with our suppliers" becomes "There's a little issue with our suppliers."

7. Introduce bad news

Use an introductory word or phrase to warn the reader that you have bad news.

"The company has decided to close its offices in New York" becomes "Unfortunately, the company has decided to close its offices in New York."

"Your application has been unsuccessful" become "We regret to inform you that your application has been unsuccessful."

See also our blog post on giving bad news.

8. Apologise

English speakers apologise in many types of situation: when they have made a mistake, if they have bad news, or even when they are referring to general problems:

"I'm sorry, but Mr Smith is out of the office this morning."
"We are sorry to inform you that we are no longer manufacturing this item."
"We would like to apologise for this misunderstanding."

9. Appear neutral rather than confrontational

Reduce the impact of a criticism by replacing a negative adjective by 'not very' + positive adjective.

"That was a stupid comment" becomes "That wasn't a very smart comment."

"Your customer service representatives are rude" becomes "Your customer service representatives are not very polite."

Try to use words with a positive focus instead of a negative focus.

"issue" or "matter" (instead of "problem")
"inconvenience" / "inconvenient" (rather than "difficulty" or "difficult")
"misunderstanding" (rather than "argument")
"sensitive" (to describe an issue that you would rather not discuss)
"unfortunate" or "disappointing" (rather than "bad")

10. Avoid "you"

Change the focus of the sentence to avoid sounding as if you are accusing the reader. Instead of writing "you", write "there" or "we".

"You made a mistake" becomes "There seems to be a mistake."
"You said…" becomes "We understood…"